There were many times during those many months of lock-downs and restrictions when you might have wondered about the people you miss being around or the people you’d like to build a stronger bond with. And I’m sure there were also the people you couldn’t wait to distance yourself from.
Now we went from a rare pandemic to an economic threat, climate threat, global war threats and making up for lost bonding time and “Quite Quitting”. Also the desire to just have lots of the right people, users, and customers in our lives grow. “Got to improve my social capital “now lingers in your mind .
We all know the pain, frustration and sadness when we are around the wrong individuals and crowds. Sometimes it’s a loved one or institution or company. The differences of energy, needs, priority, goals, work ethics, or values just irritate like having a rock in your shoes while walking.
Clearly relationships and making connections are hard. For founders and entrepreneurs it’s even harder. So we put these tips together and hope it helps sales people, founders, marketers, and anyone improve social capital.
FIRST WORK ON YOU
Surely it’s been said many times if you want to attract better: people, connections, talent and opportunities then you better become attractive. For example, the appeal and standards of LVMH brands is different from a Walmart, right?. Walmart attracts a certain type of consumer. LVMH brands caters to more higher income earners – luxury focused. Same goes with going from wage slave employee mindset to an multi-million dollar family oriented investor mindset. The simple point is to honestly earn qualities that attract people / things to you, like:
- You earn respect and trust from others
- You are your authentic self 24/7
- You have adopted universal values
- You encourage and inspire better character from others with your actions
- You are comfortable in your skin, flaws and confidence
- You in most cases have good discipline to make good judgment
- You are not two-face or do double talk
- You are loyal and faithful and devoted to your loved ones and trusted allies in life
- You are responsible for yourself
- You are compassionate and empathetic
- You are aware of what or who you attract
- You are consistent in the healthy standards in your life and work
- You are constructive at work and outside work
- You know not to judge a book by it’s cover
- And so on…
KNOW WHAT QUALITIES GOOD FRIENDS / CONNECTIONS HAVE
If toxic destructive attributes got you social & economic progress, it would be desired by most. However, the reality is many honest wealthy people are constructive good people.
So once you work on yourself and your demons, go and be a good decent person
- Nobody wants a cheat, endless liar, violent, thief, threat and backstabber
- People want people bringing out their best qualities
- People don’t want people just chasing transaction and making sales pitches
- People want you to take sincere interest in them and genuinely honestly like them
- People want healthy positive attitude and fun to be with people…not 24/7 downers
- Showing you’re interested in the things they have to say
- You respect their local-views and worldviews even if you disagree
- You are considered dependable
- Are emotionally supportive to a healthy level
- Being willing to go out of your way for them
- You do something nice and thoughtful for them
- You don’t hang out with them because of what things they have
- You don’t hang out with them because of what they can do for you
- You don’t gossip about them behind their back
- You know when to keep things private
- You never take them for granted
- You never stop earning their support, love, business,etc
- You work on building deeper bonds
- You are not a sociopath or endless manipulator
- You are not afraid to discover common causes, interest, hobbies, background, dreams, etc
- You are not afraid to reciprocate appropriately.
- You love Gods creatures even in moments of dislike
WHY WE NEED TO BUILD GOOD CONNECTIONS
It’s just harder to play the long game of life and business without connection to others. To navigate every aspect of school, business, government, travel, sports, law without others is like living in a cave alone. When you encounter difficult situations, you want to be able to access a network of individuals who can help identify solutions or just support you.
Belong. Build in your family, extended family, friends, classmates, coworkers,industry, outside your industry, events, gym classes, sports events, music festivals, anywhere a feeling of belonging is present .
Opportunities. Professional connections are an excellent way to find new jobs, career opportunities friendship, leads, etc. The great opportunities are most times not publicized.
Reference. They can make recommendations or serve as references for you as a candidate or in other circumstances.
Mentored. The opportunity to be mentored by other successful people
Inspired. Get inspire by others so that you can build your skills and knowledge
Grow. By attending conferences, workshops and other professional events you learn.
Retain. Developing favorable bonds with potential customers and customers is great way to secure your future revenue.
Progress. Connecting with more senior team members of your company or of a clients company can help you get ahead.
Discover. We maintain connections so we can discover other views, ways, markets, people, cultures, animals, resources. Ideas, invest, etc
THE RIGHT ENVIRONMENT FOR CONNECTIONS
If you the founder can not build or seed your companies work environment then find someone that naturally encourages these good soft skills. Because in a hyper-competitive world, it’s the soft things that keeps the house up.
- First, we are to prioritize yours, family, friends, workers safety & health over the company.
- Remember that strong social connections are not simply about the number of LinkedIn connections, followers, friends and family members
- It’s the quality of those connections that matters more
- Sometimes the source of many depression is due to people being too selfish
- As a founder or manager do you feel workers care about each other?
- Do you have a culture that supports giving and receiving kindness while achieving or is it all fear?
- Is it a unit culture or is it just individual glory and blaming?
- As a founder do your research on cultures that are healthy and best fit before your first hire.
- Remember because it’s business and work the environment still requires some healthy behavior boundaries
- Ask yourself if the current culture and policies in your company supports the development of trusted relationships.
- Everyone in an organization has the power to create spaces for approved sharing, whether it is in a formal gathering or an informal conversation over lunch.
- If more intimate consensual connections are made, make sure to remind everyone the policy around workplace relationships on a quarterly basis.
WAYS & WHERE TO BUILD CONNECTIONS
Participate in your industry. I’m sure there are areas of interest that just light up your fire so go and participate, volunteer, learn, assist at …conferences, online, events, meetups, casual events. Go just to connect with others not sell.
Take interest in others. This one I think could be critical for people who don’t have access to right role models, or successful people. So find hobbies or activities that allows you to take interest in others even if it’s not directly related to your goals or needs or occupation.
Practice the art ice-breakers, small talk or lengthy conversations. You need to, in my experience, be aware of diverse subject matters from sports, science, tech, entertainment, women issues, men issues, social issues, housing, investing, finance, business, art, economy, health, etc
Have many ways of staying connected. Email, social media, phone, hangout, coffee-shop, movies, Instagram, SnapChat, WhatsApp,, etc. Don’t let all your investment of time and money in the relationship go to waste. Just say hello and check in or find something positive in their social media and leave a nice comment.
Connect with them and find commonalities.When trying to connect with another person, finding shared interests or responsibilities can provide an easy source of discussion. It can be commonalities as work or hobbies. The commonalities you adopt helps nurture the bond.
Always be providing value. Dogs exchange unconditional love & friendship for stability & love so make sure relationship is win-win. If it isn’t balanced then likely the relationship will not work long.
Show them you appreciate them.One of the simplest ways is just say thank you. When connected to people who feel appreciated or valued, it only makes them want to stick with the relationship.
Share content that will attract the people you want to connect to. There are plenty of inspirational sources so write, create and share. Truly become the person you wish to attract.
People want to check you out, Before they connect to you, make sure to develop an appropriate truthful online and offline bio or history or background .Doing this makes it easier for people to assess if you are what they want. No body likes fake people, thieves and / or discreditable people.
See if you can host and organize an event for people you’d like to hangout with and would like to hangout with you. This puts the outcome in your own hands .
CONNECTIONS WITH CUSTOMERS / USERS / CLIENTS
- It’s important to know why they like you and what is most important to them. This begins with being a good listener and observer. Know what their expectations are.
- If you truthfully demonstrate you are consistently trustworthy and caring, people will connect with you faster.
- People are different in some little ways. Some have preferences for somethings so adapt your approach. Know when to be assertive and when to be low key.
- Know your personal brand and your values. People, customers or connections are not with you 24/7 however they get glimpse into your true self via other platforms.
- You set the behaviors in your life, home, and in your organization.
- Good quality connections, and relationships takes time.
- Maintain it with relevant effort
- Set proper expectations you’ll want to agree on before you start working together like Rates and Pricing, Billing Cycle, Itemized Charges, Project Timelines, Boundaries, Conditions, Delays, Personnel, etc
- Set a time to keep them updated or stay in touch
- Know when and how you go above and beyond
- Show them how to get more value, or maintain or DIY with your offerings
- Find ways to identify other potential problems and suggest options to address it.
- Do everything in your power to live up to your own estimates
- Remember your clients are not your piggy banks. They are people that can make or break you especially in this digital age.
- Try to make sure your interactions with them is not just transaction, inject some compassion or soul
- Avoid anything that could be construed as offensive or inappropriate…they are not your typical buddies.
- Be open to receiving feedback then you later privately decide if it’s useful or not.
- Find the best reliable collaboration tools
- Understand their business world or consumer world
- Find the best administration person and tools cause you’ll need to project an admin system that is consistent
- The point is, the easier and more convenient the process of working with you is for your client, the more they’re going to want to work with you again
- We all make mistakes sometimes so make sure to look at the big picture and own your mistakes.
- You & your client must show you’re open, accountable and trustworthy 365 days.
- Do everything to minimize Time & Trauma Vampires.
- Once a while reveal your own or business vulnerability and see who comes to aid or support you.
CONNECT WITH YOUR INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS
- Nobody is interested in sales pitches and spam content. People want invaluable , relevant, and engaging content
- Take the time to learn what works for you, your business, and your audience.
- People like advice, jokes, tips, family, friendship, skills demo, outcomes, before & after, tricks, love, fashion, drinks, food, craft, pets, different, compare, DIY, etc
- Start by figuring out what key message you want to share, and base your helpful content around that.
- It’s better to post a few great content instead of thousands of poor quality content
- Always make sure to know if you have the rights to images, IP, sounds, text, music, place, object, news, info, etc
- Find out which hashtags are relevant to your targets and industry
- The occasional broad and general hashtags works sometimes but if you can be a little more specific that may grab the quality niche audiences
- Show them you understand them
- You don’t want to use tags which aren’t searched for, but you also don’t want to use tags which are too popular either
- Hey sometimes become creative and start a new, one of a kind hashtag of your own and grow it
- The game is catch user’s attention, and encourage them to comment, like, share, tag friends and commit.
- What are your audience passionate about?
- What do your followers and target audience dislike?
- In most cases try to promote positive emotions, thoughts and feelings.
- If you do anger, attacks, violence, hate, lies, controversy, etc think long and hard before you do it.
- What trend are they into and not into?
- What trends should you jump on?
- What are your competitors up to?
- What content is hot now that you could imitate?
- Short attention span so go for easy to engage to, easy to visually take in, and feels socially healthy.
- If they’re making a point to respond, comment and share then respond with good judgement
- Use good judgement to question their views or opinion, like “why do you think that”
CONNECTING BY USING TIKTOK
- TikTok is all entertainment so stick to quality entertaining content.
- Like any other social platform keep the sales pitches, self-promotions to a very minimal.
- Start following top creators to see what they’re doing.
- What kinds of videos are popular?
- How do content producers interact with the community?
- Keep an eye on all your analytic to see what resonates and what doesn’t.
- Pay attention to timing, length, subject, description, editing, etc
- Posting on a consistent manageable schedule seems to help with impression then maybe subscribers grows.
- Build first your loyal followers then you could sell something later.
- Keep non entertainment very light
- Work with influencers, micro-influencers to grow your brand. Just make sure to do your homework before partnering.
- It may not make you money so you might as well use it to engage with the community your serve.
CONNECTING USING LINKEDIN
Good idea is to think about what is your primary goal on LinkedIn. Is it find a job, find partners, find workers, find customers, maintain relationships, sell, etc.
- Have you spent time and effort building your brand, website, credibility, reputation, skills?
- Figure the best approach and tactics to help you get to your goals?
- Do you know how to customize your invitations
- Before you send a message, make sure you have in your personal background, interest, etc something that would make them strongly consider connecting like accomplishments, title, followers, content, expertise, etc .
- Explain why you want to connect or how you know them. Include. If you are only after a transaction connection make it clear.
- Set a time like 2 – 4 Weeks to send a follow-up LinkedIn InMail message
- Feel free to invite family and friends
- Invite current and past coworkers, customers, vendors, business partners but first re-earn their trust
- Invite people you know from associations, sports teams, and networking groups.
- Note that some people might have issue with connecting immediately at an event and some it’s no problem.
- The LinkedIn Phone app can save you a lot of time.
- My advice is always build the connection in person first before invite to connect on LinkedIn
- Focus on your 1st and second degree connections to connect to before strangers.
- There are lots of people on LinkedIn that will connect with anyone if you want go that path.
- Quantity versus Quality.
- Instead of connecting set the options in your profile settings to say follow first instead of connect.
- Select and join groups of interest to you but remember that some groups are strict about who can join.
- Work with the group manager to guide you through and help you succeed in the group
- Like and comment on how much you liked someones articles.
- Click their image or name to reach their profile.
- To improve your chances of them accepting invite, like, comment on, and share their articles on your home page often to spread their messages to your network.
- Be certain you are a good match
Some invite message examples we found:
“[NAME] It was so nice meeting you last night at the [EVENT NAME] event. I was fascinated by your [SUBJECT / OBJECT]. Let’s connect. Let’s grab a cup of coffee. When would work for you? [YOUR NAME, PHONE NUMBER, EMAIL ADDRESS]”.
“I see that you also worked at 123XYZ Corp. (I worked there until 2###) and that we are also connected to my good friend, __. Let’s connect.”
“I see that you’re also an alum of the University of Expensive Education . I remember my classes and the moments at [PLACE HANGOUT]. Good memories. Lets connect at this [EVENT].
“I’ve enjoyed reading your comments on the [GROUP NAME] discussion board. We share many of the same perspectives. Let’s connect because of [REASON]”
“I read your blog (or LinkedIn posts) and love your advice. Oh “I know we haven’t met yet, but I believe we both be good connection, wanted to invite you to connect and introduce myself.”
EXTRA THOUGHTS ON CONNECTING
“Overall, if you’re making an effort to become better friends with someone, and you get the sense you’re putting more energy into it than they are, consider backing off and adjusting your expectations.”
“Sometimes we’ll become good friends with someone pretty quickly, at other times it takes a while.”
You can get friendships and connection going faster if you click with them very well, when you’re at a stage in life when you can take on connections & relationships, both available and easily accessible to each other, fill an unmet need in each other’s lives , you have qualities for good healthy friendship, values are whole lot similar
“Whatever speed the friendship is going to develop at, don’t try to rush or force it toward a deeper level of intimacy. Let it unfold at its own pace. “
“A close relationship isn’t something that happens in a few hours or days. You need time to get to know them, have fun together, and become more comfortable with each other. “
It is recommend that you take account of the people in your life and keep notes on when you met them, where, how, what, why they are invaluable in your tight circle, inner circle, and outer circle.
Tight & Inner Circle Questions:
Ask yourself who do you see most?
Who would be there unconditionally?
Who knows you best?
Who do you trust with your secrets?
Who are mutually maintaining the relationship and who barely tries?
Who is for certain interest or hobbies?
Who is good at emotional support and motivation?
Who do you need to show appreciation for?
Who is there for you better or worst?
Outer Circle Questions:
Who brings out your best?
Who improves your skills, efficiency, productivity, life?
Who waste your time & energy?
Who keeps you happy and excited?
Who could you get to know better?
Who could you invite out for coffee?
whom I’d like to be more like?
Who achieves their goals even the face of obstacles?
Who do I want to try a new restaurant with?
What groups do I need to belong to?
What ways can I give back to my community?
Who do I want to go on a long trip with?
Are there any community classes or events I could frequent?
What do you have in common with that person?
